Hypocrisy

Classes started up three weeks ago today and this is usually the point where I finally feel like I'm in school. Unfortunately this mark fell on labour day and so I am generally confused about how much or how little work I ought to be doing. This semester I have the least amount of credits I've ever had, so I'm considering this a "year off". In reality I am taking several classes, trying to maintain a reasonable grade point average (to transfer), working three jobs, and in the process of moving. In reality this is anything but time off.

Today as I swept a pile of clothes off my bed and on to the floor I thought about the hypocrisy of my life. This was partly because it was staring me straight in the eye and because I was mourning the loss of my philosophical camp (and child) brain. Once school starts it's mostly about school, school related things, and generally learning in a structured environment. The homeschooler inside me weeps. As humans we're all hypocritical, it's our nature and I've said this before. I was specifically thinking about the contradictions in my life between mature.. and a little less so. I can't keep a pile of clothes of my bed, yet my name's on legal documents. I make my dinner in the toaster oven too often, but I've owned my car outright since I was 16. I currently hold three jobs. I graduated high school two years early. My watch is plastic, purple, and has flowers on it. My reaction to an uncomfortable situation is to make a silly face. I own a full set of dishes, but I have only two each of forks, knives and spoons. I love the people I grew up with yet I want to become my own person, free of their judgement and with disregard to their prior opinions of me.

The list goes on, but the point is that life is full of these contradictions and instances of hypocrisy and I'm doing my best to embrace them.